When I first came to the US, I had a thick Indian accent and was told I’d never get employed anywhere if I couldn’t learn how to speak.
At the time, I was working as a janitor, scrubbing floors and cleaning toilets to pay my way through school.
But here’s the thing:
I couldn’t afford a speaking coach. I was a janitor barely making ends meet.
So I taught myself how to speak properly, but it wasn’t from a speaking course…
I checked out Tony Robbins tapes from the public library and listened to them every night as I mopped floors.
For 6 months, I mopped floors with Tony’s voice in my ears.
The Sony Walkman became my English teacher…
(I still speak loudly today because Tony yelled throughout the programs I listened to.
My wife has been asking me to turn down the volume for 18 years…)
20 years later, I started doing keynote speeches. Everything was going great, but I started noticing something…
Everyone said they loved my talks, but they weren’t inviting me back to speak.
I was getting people to listen, but they weren’t remembering.
And so, in a full-circle moment, I paid $50,000 for Tony Robbins’ speaking coach.
What I learned from him helps me with all the presentations I give today, and I’ve even given a TEDx talk.
So here are my 3 favorite tips to help you explain anything to anyone that I learned:
Tip 1: The “1,2,3, too many” rule.
One, two, three, too many because as soon as you get to the fourth topic, item, or story you’re like:
”I forgot the first three!”
Here’s why:
If you give people more than 3 concepts, they remember nothing.
And so, anytime you’re explaining something to anyone, keep it to three things.
But here’s the thing:
I still couldn’t get people to remember what I had told them…
Especially when it was more complex topics.
This is why I always use tip number 2 in my presentations to brand what I’m teaching into people’s memories…
Tip 2: Put your ideas into “Geometric shapes.”
This could be triangles, circles, or squares.
Why do you use shapes?
Because it lets the brain take a snapshot of the information and you know
which goes in what box when you’re speaking.
So let me give you an example.
At Acquisition(.)com we have three values:
Unimpeachable character
Sincere Candor
Competitive greatness
Now if I just said those values to you once, you’re probably not going to remember them.
But if I put them in 3 circles…
Your brain’s going to have a much easier time remembering them.
But these visuals only work for the audience if you’re giving a presentation, not a speech.
So now I needed a way to make complex ideas simple without relying on visuals…
And I learned this final tip from a kindergarten teacher that lets me explain any concept to anyone.
Tip 3: The “4-Mat” Technique
4-Mat has four frames:
Why, what, how, now.
The why frame is, “why is this important right now?”
Let me give you an example:
Let’s say I’m talking about global warming and it’s important right now because all the rainforests are dying.
Now the second is the what frame.
The what frame is, “Well, there’s four pieces that affect global warming.”
And then I say, “Piece one, piece two, piece three.”
That’s the 10,000-foot view of everything.
So now it’s the how frame.
“Let me tell you how each of these pieces are affecting you.”
And the final one is the now or the next. What do I do with all this information?
“You don’t have to remember anything that I said. All I need you to do is to turn off your air conditioning at 6 pm.”
That is the one thing. What is the one domino that I kick to make them remember, like an action step.
By this point, they feel so much more engaged with you because they’re like,
“Oh yeah, he’s answering every inbuilt objection that I have.”
Why should I listen to him? Oh, because it’s important.
What is this all about? Oh, it’s got four pieces.
How do I actually do that? Oh, he just told me.
Man, there’s too much. What should I do? Oh, just do this.
Why, what, how, now.
Now you have my favorite 3 communication tips you can use in your next conversation with a friend, a business partner, or in a meeting.
1,2,3, too many
Put your ideas into geometric shapes
4-mat: why, what, how, now
So how can you apply this today?
Just pick one of the tips from the list and use it in all your conversations for the next week.
Then once you feel comfortable using that tip and you’ve developed the habit, do the same for the next tip.
But the biggest gift Tony gave me wasn’t just how to speak…
It was how to be remembered.
This is exactly what these 3 tips will help you do as well.
And if you enjoyed this post, I talk about how to become your own bank in this next one:
I bought Tony's first course. Did every exercise. Started out skeptical but within 6 months my income doubled. A year later, I started a new business. Did things differently and the success path opened way sooner.
Great tips Sharran. Wish I had these tips back when I was speaking. They are all solid.
I like how clearly you broke this down. Most articles on this topic feel complicated, but this one was simple and practical. Thanks for writing it.