The Hidden Reason Most People Never Achieve What They Want
Why you'll probably ignore this advice
I spent three years telling people I was writing a book called "Underdog."
The few times I sat down, I was kinda excited to write.
Unfortunately, I didn’t write much because I always found something more important to work on.
After making no progress for a while and feeling like a loser, I realized it was time for a different solution. I hired and paid for a ghostwriter. Heck, I have a finished manuscript sitting on my computer right now.
Complete book.
Ready to publish.
Nah. I decided not to do anything with it.
I just didn’t love it.
But…
At dinners, I'd casually mention my "book project."
In meetings, I'd reference insights from "the book I'm working on."
On social media, I'd post mildly-thoughtful updates about my writing process, my research discoveries, the challenges of balancing entrepreneurship with creative work.
But I had such good reasons for not publishing.
I was refining the concept.
The market wasn't quite right.
I wanted to add more research.
I wanted it to be perfect, you know?
All lies.
The truth was simpler and infinitely more embarrassing: I didn't actually want to write "Underdog." I wanted to be someone who had written "Underdog."
This is the difference between failing and not failing at life. Most people are chasing the identity, not doing the work.
The test that will destroy your excuses
After three years of this charade, I finally got honest with myself.
I was staring at that finished manuscript when I asked myself one brutal question: "If I could magically have 'Underdog' become a bestseller right now, but absolutely no one would ever know I wrote it, no author credit, no recognition, no royalties, no social media posts, would I still want it?"
The answer hit me like a freight train: No.
I didn’t even know why I wanted to do it in the first place.
Maybe because my coach encouraged me to do it.
Maybe I wanted the status of being an author.
Maybe I wanted the foo-foo conversations at cocktail parties.
Maybe I wanted the LinkedIn bio that said "entrepreneur and author."
Heck, maybe I wanted people to think I was the kind of person who writes books.
But I didn't know if actually want to share the ideas in "Underdog" with the world.
Once I admitted this to myself, everything changed. I stopped the performance. Put the manuscript in a folder labeled "Lessons Learned" and never looked at it again.
Instead, I started working on things I actually wanted to do. Things that excited me even when no one was watching. Things I'd work on at 10 PM on a Saturday not because I should, but because I wanted to.
It turned out okay. I got to build 2 billion dollar companies, invested in over 100+ companies, and bought over 3,000 units of real estate.
Here's your homework: Try this test on every goal you've been "working on" for more than three months.
Weight loss.
Business launch.
Learning Spanish.
Organizing your garage.
Building your personal brand.
Getting your MBA. (zero reason to do this btw)
Whatever you keep saying you want but somehow never make real progress on. Strip away all the external validation. Remove the social proof, the impressive conversations, the identity upgrade. If you could have the result but no one would ever know, would you still want it?
If you hesitated for even a second, congratulations. You just discovered why you keep failing.
You're performing goals instead of pursuing them
This isn't about motivation or willpower or time management.
This is about honesty.
Most people would rather fail at goals that sound impressive than succeed at goals that actually matter to them. We've gotten so good at performing ambition that we've forgotten what genuine desire feels like.
The person who says they want to "get in shape" but won't skip happy hour doesn't have a discipline problem. They just want to be fit more than they want to get fit.
The entrepreneur who talks about "scaling their business" but won't make sales calls doesn't lack motivation. They just lack honesty about what they actually want to do with their time.
The parent who says they want to "be more present with their kids" but checks their phone 200 times a day doesn't need better systems. They just need better self-awareness.
Stop lying to yourself about what you want.
The embarrassingly simple solution
Once you get honest about what you actually want (not what you think you should want, not what looks good on paper, not what impresses other people), the solution becomes stupidly obvious:
Set goals so small that failure requires genuine pathology.
I'm not talking about "start with baby steps" motivation poster nonsense. I'm talking about goals so laughably tiny that you'd have to be clinically dysfunctional to fail at them.
If you actually want to write, don't commit to "writing every day." Commit to opening a Google Doc once per week. That's it. Just open it.
If you genuinely want to get stronger, don't join a CrossFit gym. Commit to doing one pushup every Tuesday. One.
If you truly want to eat better, don't overhaul your entire diet. Commit to eating one apple per week. Seriously.
This sounds ridiculous because it is ridiculous. That's the point.
If you can't keep a promise to do one pushup per week, you have no business setting bigger fitness goals. If you can't open a document once per week, you don't actually want to write.
Master the microscopic stuff first. Then earn the right to dream bigger.
Why you'll probably ignore this advice
Because it's not sexy.
It doesn't promise some BS transformation in 30 days. It doesn't make you feel like you're thinking big or reaching for the stars.
But here's the real reason: Complacency… it makes you gradually settle to a place of mediocrity. One skipped day becomes a skipped week becomes a skipped month. One conversation about your book becomes three years of conversations about your book with zero pages written. You tell yourself you're "working on it" while gradually accepting that "working on it" is enough.
Complacency convinces you that thinking about writing is the same as writing. That planning to exercise is the same as exercising. That wanting to change is the same as changing.
Mediocrity is working hard to get halfway up the mountain. It's putting in just enough effort to feel like you're doing something without ever reaching the summit. It's the comfortable middle ground where you can tell yourself you're making progress while never actually finishing anything.
Most people would rather stay comfortable in that halfway point than risk the embarrassment of starting over with something laughably small.
Don't be most people.
Read this part
Naval Ravikant says intelligence is getting what you want out of life. But there are really two parts to this:
Knowing what you actually want
Getting what you actually want
Most people fail at step one. They spend years chasing goals they think they should want instead of figuring out what they genuinely desire. That's why the "would you still want it if no one knew" test matters so much. It separates performance from genuine wanting.
But even when you figure out what you actually want, you still have to get it. And that's where most people choose mediocrity.
Average is the punishment for the weak. It's what happens when you know exactly what you want but refuse to do the work to get it. It's the natural consequence of making promises to yourself that you don't keep.
Mediocrity isn't an accident. It's a choice you make every morning when you hit snooze instead of getting up. Every time you say "I'll start tomorrow" instead of starting today. Every time you negotiate with your own plans like they're suggestions instead of commitments.
Life is not complicated. It comes down to this: Do what you say you'll do, when you say you'll do it, whether you feel like it or not.
Your word to yourself either means something or it doesn't. There's no middle ground. No participation trophies. No credit for good intentions.
Tomorrow you'll have dozens of opportunities to keep tiny promises to yourself or break them. Each choice either builds self-trust or destroys it.
The compound interest of kept promises, no matter how small, creates the kind of person who doesn't fail at life.
The person who breaks promises to themselves, no matter how reasonable the excuse, gets exactly what they deserve: a mediocre existence where they never quite achieve anything they actually want.
Which person do you want to be?
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Well this was a much needed slapping in the face.
Always appreciate your insight and experience. Thank you!
For 4 years i was a wantrepreneur, i just wasn't committed. I wanted to be extraordinary by doing ordinary efforts! I was giving myself a lot of excuses back then, but now i know that the reason of not taking that extra step is basically, i was so afraid of other people judgments! what if i went all in and failed? what they are going to say about me? It's hard to admit these things that you are just simply afraid! Thank you Sharran for sharing your book story