Twelve truths I wish someone had told me at 25
Why the best advice only makes sense after you ignore it
Most quote collections feel like lectures from people who have it all figured out. This isn't that.
These are twelve things I learned the expensive way. Through mistakes, missteps, and moments when I had to admit I was wrong about everything I thought I knew about success.
Maybe you're smarter than I was.
Maybe you'll figure these out faster.
But if you're anything like me, some lessons only stick when life teaches them to you personally.
1. "You're not overwhelmed. You're overcommitted to things that don't matter."
I am embarrassed to share this publicly, but I used to wear my 16-hour days like a badge of honor. Meetings about meetings. Emails about emails. I felt important because I was busy. And that fake-feeling of importance did not help overwhelm in anyway.
Looking back at all of it, on a positive note, it actually taught me work ethic. But the tipping point for me was when I started asking myself the DBQ: The Do Better Question, every night.
Every night before I go to bed, I ask myself:
What is one thing I can do tomorrow to make it better than today?
Knowing that I had to answer the same question the next night helped me stay ultra-focused and ultra-committed to the things that matter.
2. "If you still need accountability, you're not committed yet."
This one hurt because I spent years hiring coaches, joining masterminds, and finding accountability partners for goals I secretly didn't want to achieve.
Real commitment feels less like accountability and more like responsibility. When I decided to do the 5AM Club call every single day, I didn't need anyone to hold me accountable. Missing it wasn't an option because (there were thousands of people live on the call and) the responsibility mattered more than my comfort.
I have just learned that you have to teach yourself that you are good at keeping the promises that you make to yourself.
Easier said than done, but also very doable.
3. "You're not looking for answers. You're looking for softer consequences."
I don’t know what to tell you.
The sooner you realize and accept that nobody cares about your life as much as you do, you will just take responsibility for it a lot more.
Accept the consequences.
Do the work.
Sometimes the best advice is the advice you're avoiding.
4. "Obsession is the common denominator of all successful people. It looks unhealthy to normal people. Because normal people generally don't win."
I know that is an extremely harsh thing to say, but that does not make it untrue.
Normal people generally don’t win. At least, not as much as the obsessive jokers.
For years, I tried to build a business with "balance." I wanted success, but I also wanted everyone to think I was well-rounded and sane.
Balance is for gymnasts.
Work-Life integration means nothing. It just sounds nice. But it doesn’t help you understand what to exactly do.
Here's what I learned: Excellence requires seasons of imbalance. We built not one, but two Billion dollar companies. I wasn't balanced. I was obsessed. That obsession came at a cost… my health, my family, my relationships, my hobbies, and Netflix time. But that obsession created the foundation for everything that I have today.
Obsession is not for everyone. Neither is massive amounts of success. I have friends who are ripped and broke. I have friends who prefer to chill than work. If that’s what makes you happy, then remember you have already won.
However, if you want more, obsession is a pre-requisite.
5. "Your future is created by the decisions you make when you don't feel like making them."
The hardest decisions I've ever made happened on days when I felt defeated, tired, or scared. The day I decided to leave Goldman Sachs. The day I chose to bet everything on Real Estate. The day I committed to never missing a 5AM club call. The day I chose to walk away from building the fastest-growing real estate business in the world.
None of those decisions felt good in the moment.
But they shaped everything that followed.
Your character is built in these unremarkable moments when no one is watching.
Learn to be proud of the good decisions that you made for yourself and your family, even when the odds were stacked against you.
6. "Your communication skills determine your compensation more than your technical skills ever will."
An asshole with skills, is still just an asshole.
Learning to communicate clearly changed everything. Not just speaking, but writing, listening, and reading the room. These skills turned my technical knowledge into actual value for other people.
The biggest lesson I learned was that communication is not just about what you say, or how you say it… it’s about what you feel and how you feel it. Meaning, people can “feel” your warmth and kindness. When I flipped the switch to a “work hard, be kind” motto, literally everything changed for me.
Make no mistake, I am far from perfect. But, but I am way better than the asshole that I used to be.
Smart people are common. Smart people who can communicate well are rare.
7. "3 truths about work ethic: 1) It's harder than it looks 2) It takes longer than you think 3) It's worth more than you imagine"
Everyone talks about work ethic like it's just about working hard. But real work ethic is about working hard on the right things, for longer than feels reasonable, when you can't see the results yet.
It took us five+ years to build Teles to $3.4 billion. More than three of those years felt like nothing was working. But work ethic isn't just effort… it's persistent, intelligent effort applied consistently over time.
It’s being relentless.
It’s normalizing being unreasonable.
One of the 3 questions I ask myself every night is this…
Did today move me closer to my goals?
Simple test: If I repeated today exactly for 90 days, would I reach my goals?
Most days that feel productive fail this test. I might solve urgent problems or clear my inbox, but not advance what actually matters. This question forces accountability between daily actions and actually meaningful outcomes.
8. "The work you're avoiding is often the shortcut you're hoping for."
I spent months looking for growth hacks, productivity systems, and clever strategies to avoid the obvious work I needed to do: make more sales calls.
The irony is that the thing I was avoiding (calling prospects) was exactly the shortcut I needed. Every other "strategy" was just a way to delay doing the work that actually mattered.
Daily practice idea: Write down the one thing you've been avoiding that would probably solve your biggest problem. Do that thing first tomorrow. Before email, before meetings, before anything else.
The work you're avoiding is usually avoiding you because it works.
9. "Who you are in private is who you really are."
This quote changed how I think about character.
It's easy to be disciplined when people are watching. The real test is what you do when no one will ever know.
Do you keep your word to yourself?
Do you do the right thing when it costs you something?
Do you maintain your standards when there's no external pressure?
The greatest gift you can give yourself is to learn to keep your promises to yourself.
Make one small promise to yourself each day and keep it. Start tiny… drink a glass of water when you wake up, read for 10 minutes, put your phone away during dinner.
Character is built through small, private victories that no one will ever applaud.
But you will know the truth, and that is worth more than you can imagine.
10. "When you get good at feeling bad, you stop feeling bad."
I used to avoid difficult conversations, hard decisions, and uncomfortable situations. But avoidance just made everything worse. The anticipation was always worse than the reality.
Learning to sit with discomfort…to do hard things while feeling bad, literally changed everything.
Now difficulty feels normal.
Problems feel like puzzles instead of threats.
Dare I say even adventures, sometimes.
Comfort with discomfort is the ultimate competitive advantage.
Nobody can beat you if you love doing hard things.
11. "Kindness is good. Kindness plus money is better."
I used to think money and kindness were somehow at odds. Like making money meant being greedy or selfish. This thinking kept me small and poor, which didn't help anyone.
Here's what I learned: Money amplifies your ability to be kind.
It lets you be generous with your time because you're not stressed about bills. It lets you help people in real, practical ways. It gives you options to do the right thing even when it's expensive.
I spent a lot of time thinking about this when I realized that I was not really money motivated.
I don’t care about the finer things in life like yachts, bentleys, or rolexes. But I cared deeply about being useful, being able to help people, being able to create companies, being able to over-tip at restaurants, or invest in my friend’s company.
That’s when I reframed it for myself: The goal isn't to just get rich. The goal is to get rich so that I can be more generous.
This has helped be become a better dude.
12. "Gratitude is just recognizing how much luck helped."
Success has made me humble, not proud.
The more I achieve, the more I realize how many things had to go right that were completely outside my control.
I was living in the right country, at the right time, have parents who valued education. I met mentors who believed in me. A family that supported my obsessive nature. I caught breaks I didn't deserve. Recognizing this doesn't diminish the work… it just puts it in perspective.
Gratitude for luck makes you kinder to people who haven't caught the same breaks.
The Real Truth
None of these lessons stuck the first time I heard them. I had to learn them through experience, mistakes, and time. Maybe you will too. And that's okay.
The goal isn't to avoid learning things the hard way. The goal is to learn them eventually, and then help other people learn them a little faster.
We're all just figuring it out as we go.
Thank you for letting me share it with you.
PS: If you liked this you will like my podcast: Business School.
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“The greatest gift you can give yourself is to learn to keep your promises to yourself.“ is my favorite quote. This has built self confidence in myself: the ability to keep the promises I make to myself.
These are so true and impactful.
Thank you for writing this.